Sleep Cycles

Happy Sunday! Another week has come and gone, faster than I'd like. I have wanted to get on several times this week and post this or that, but when I sit to do it, the words escape me. I haven't quite found the best time for my creative blogging juices to flow. Okay, not entirely true. The best time would be about 2 am, when I am laying in bed wide awake composing in my head. I am trying very hard to get my sleep cycle on track, so as much as I would like to get up, I am resisting.

Speaking of sleep cycles- Carter has been in his, "big boy," bed for several months now. He made the adjustment easily and Noah and I were so thrilled. Carter has always been an amazing sleeper. We "Ferberized" him at 4 months and he has done very well ever since. What a blessing!

However, over the holidays, he became more needy at bedtime. He started delaying the time Noah and I would leave his room, asking for this and that- wanting water, another hug, to put his book away, to give him his dolphin or another stuffed friend.

Typing it, it seems so obvious he was manipulating us, not wanting to sleep and seeing just how far he could push us. But, he's tricky and didn't lay it all on at once, so we easily fell into his smoothly laid trap!

Bedtime has moved from bath, books, prayers, hugs and sleep to bath, wrestling a wet 2 year old to put his PJ's on, waiting while he takes forever to pick out 2 books, talking to delay prayers and multiple hugs and kisses from both Noah and I before all the good night language-

"Good night, Carter."

"Good night, Momma."

"Good night, Dada."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Love you."

"Love you."

"Love you."

"See you in the morning."

"Sweet dreams."

"Bye..."

Then, once the door is closed the tears start, usually for something silly like, "Need to tell Dada bye," or, "Need a hug Momma."

We enter to comply to his request.

He'll stop crying.

We think we're done for the night. We settle on the couch to start whatever show we have Tivo'ed.

Fifteen minutes to a hour later we hear him talking over the baby monitor, then start calling one of us. "Momma! MOOOOMMMMMAAAAA!"

One more tuck in. Finally, bed.

Until about 3:00 or 4:30 or this morning, 5:00.

This morning he took it to a new level. His bedroom light was on- he figured out how to reach it- he was in the middle of the floor and I walked in to, "I want to read my books. Dada read my books?"

AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"No Carter. It is still dark outside. It is not time to get up or read books."

I walk him to bed. He wants the books in the bed with him. I comply.

Thankfully, we all go back to sleep.

When he awoke at 8:45a, which is way past his usual up time of 7:00a, I was once again greeted with the light on, him in the middle of the floor, books in hand, big smile, "Momma you read books now?"

"Yes, Carter. I'll read the books now."

Last week I pulled, "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems," (Ferber) off the shelf and blew off the dust that had collected on it. I started reading. Turns out- surprise- Carter's manipulation is normal. Toddlers have "active imaginations," (According to, "Toddler 411," one of my favorite books toddlers, "live in a fantasy world."), and all this manipulation is because he does not want to go to sleep.

According to Ferber, once we close his bedroom door, Carter is laying there fantasizing about all the things we are doing without him. He wants to take part and by pulling us back in with him, he gets the upper hand. The problem is shutting him down. Which, just like when he was 4 months old, requires us not going in every time he cries or calls. The difference is that before it broke my heart to hear him cry. Now, it breaks my heart to hear him call for me by name. Wanting a hug. Or a Kiss. Or to tell me he loves me. Ugh.

However, I kept reading. I also learned that at his age Carter should be getting about 11 hours of sleep everyday. He is currently getting about 13. Too much sleep. He sleeps about 11 hours at night- 8:00p to 7:00a and a two hour afternoon nap. Hmmm...how to adjust?

Carter still asks for his nap. Yes, he asks for it. Cool, right? Well, my first adjustment is to cut it to an hour. But, that still leaves bedtime- 8:00p to 7:00a- 11 hours. I think 9:00p is too late a bedtime for an almost 3 year old, but I am not waking him up at 6:00 either. What do I do? I don't know. I guess, for now, we'll do the hour long nap and see what happens.

Anyway, hopefully, by making an adjustment in the amount of time he is sleeping, we can cut out the dramatics at bedtime. Oh, let's pray. I don't want to hear him calling for me. There's only so much a mother's heart can take.


Carter with his tool belt on- the first time he figured out how to do it himself!


Silly fun with the tools! This one made me laugh for quite a while!