Here Comes the Bride...

Well, 11 years ago!

Noah and I celebrated 11 years of marriage on Saturday. Eleven years. It's hard to believe. Of course, really we've been together for 15 years. We dated for 3 years, were engaged for another year and then FINALLY (I thought it would never happen!) we got married. We were 19 when we met. Amazing!

So many people look back on the good times. Oddly, Noah and I seem to count everything we've survived. Which, I guess, in the end turn out to be the good times.

First the fact that we are still married defines odds. Eleven years from two kids who both come from divorced families is a milestone.

Then, there's what we call, "raising Nina." My sister Nina came to live with me at the age of 15, the year before Noah and I got married. Since we were engaged, Nina really came to live with both of us. We were her guardians. Go figure- two 22 year olds raising a 15 year old! There were some rough times there. Once we were married, Nina continued to live with us. More rough times? Sure. Would we change it? Never. I didn't know my sister before she came to live with us. Being together made us come together and now I love Nina so very much. In some ways, I feel more like a protective mom than a sister when it comes to her. I am so glad we had that time together. I wouldn't change it at all.

Noah was in graduate school at this time and had an internship with the Texas Rangers (Yes, the baseball team). At the end of his internship, he was offered a job with the team. We had been married just a year, and had spent the last 6 months apart- me teaching in Bryan, Nina in her junior year of high school and Noah in Arlington with the Rangers. When the job offer came in, he was so excited. However, it would mean another year apart, as I would stay in College Station, so Nina could finish her senior year and graduate with her class at Consol. In the end, Noah did not want to be apart and he wanted Nina to have the opportunity to finish out her very important senior year at the same school. He turned down the job and came home to us in College Station. What a guy.

The next year, after Nina graduated, we moved to north Texas. A move I was not happy about. Not at all. However, after Noah's sacrifice the previous year, I was willing to sacrifice myself. I am still in north Texas.

Next came a struggle many couples struggle over- money. We hit a spot where the only way we could make ends meet was by using credit cards. A deadly trap. In the end, it took us 5 years (half our married life) to dig ourselves out of a debt hole. (and yes, we did dig ourselves out! No bailouts here! We made the mess and we straightened it out!) Thanks be to God and Dave Ramsey!

There were counseling sessions here and there. I do not apologize for that. Everyone needs a third party perspective now and then- we are not perfect and no different.

Then, there was infertility. I could write pages and pages about this. My tears alone could fill oceans. Infertility is a curse and, yet, after 4 years, with many prayers and the help of IVF, we conceived a beautiful healthy baby boy. The joy and light of our lives. Thank you Jesus for Carter Daniel Stein.

Last year, Noah had his whatever- bacterial meningitis, ADEM- whatever- and I had to deal with the thought of being a widow and a single mom to a 2 year old. I was on my knees countless times praying that God would not take Carter's Dada away from him. How would I ever explain where his precious Dada went and how would I deal with the aftermath of how that would change my innocent little boy? Praise God, Noah survived.

Next came recovery- what would Noah be like? No one could tell me. I watched my husband learn to sit up, stand, walk, talk, write, tie his shoes and feed himself all over again. How ironic is it that Carter and Noah were learning to feed themselves at the same time? A weird place for a wife/mother to be in! Again, Thankfully, Noah made an amazing recovery- no cognitive deficiencies and only minor physical ones.

Now, we are dealing with infertility again. Some of you know we tried IVF again last fall- once in October and once in November. Both cycles had to be stopped because I was not responding to the treatments. More tears, more sadness. When will another baby come? Don't tell me I am "lucky" to have one baby. That implies I am being greedy to want another beautiful, precious gift from God. That aggravates the crap out of me. Are fertile people lucky to just have one? Are they greedy when they want more than one? No, they get to chose the size of their family. Well, guess what? I am choosing the size of my family too and the curse of infertility will not limit me to one beautiful blessing.

Anyway...enough on that...

Back to marriage.

Noah and I have been through alot. Alot of stuff that would have broken other couples. We are not perfect and we have our issues, but I am so blessed by my husband and my family. I thank God for them everyday and I treasure each moment I have with them. Probably because everything we have- lives included- have been fought for and won. Won, I believe only through the power, grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is not anything we have done on our own. We rely each day on Him to keep us standing and help us walk this rough and rocky road called life.

Noah Michael- I love you! Thank you for being a stand up guy, a loving father and a good man.

Remember When- Alan Jackson

Remember when I was young and so were you
and time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when

Remember when we vowed the vows
and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet
was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookn' back it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
Where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when


I'll Stand By You- The Pretenders

Oh, why you look so sad? Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now.
Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too.
When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,
Nothing you confess could make me love you less
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.

So, if you're mad get mad, don't hold it all inside,
Come on and talk to me now.
And hey, what you got to hide? I get angry too
But I'm alot like you.
When you're standing at the crossroads, don't know which path to choose,
Let me come along, cause even if your wrong
I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,
I'll stand by you.
Take me into your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you.
I'll stand by you.

And when, when the night falls on you baby, you're feeling all alone,
You won't be on your own, I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you. I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you.